3 Dumb Things Your Customers Do Not Give a Damn About.

For the love of God. Stop. Bothering. Them!

My girlfriend and I go out to eat every Sunday night in Barcelona, Spain. As we sat down last night at our favorite Chinese place, she looked at me and whispered the words that she knows I hate to hear: “I hope you do not mind, but I invited Jane to come and join us for dinner.”

I rolled my eyes so hard they almost came out of my skull. I hate Jane.

Jane thinks she is the only interesting human on Earth, and that everything has to be around her and her tremendous (but not really) success. Throughout the night, she found a way to steer every single bit of conversation back to, you guessed it, her.

Let’s just say it’s not fun to hang out with Jane. You probably know someone that you dread sitting next to as well — someone even worse than that creepy uncle we all have.

But here’s the thing. Jane reminds me of 99% of businesses out there.

In the pursuit of building a relationship with their audiences, they are instead alienating potential buyers because of being terribly annoying and self-centered.

Trust me, I have written sales copy for entrepreneurs and CMO’s every single day for over two years -I know how irritating some of them can be.

So, here are 3 dumb things your customers do not give a damn about:

1. What your values and corporate mission are.

Let me guess, your core values are all over your website in big, bold letters. Something flashy like “ethical, competency, customer-focused, teamwork” and weird-sounding like “inner harmony” —BOOOOORING. Even just writing this put me out to sleep… Wait… you say you are disruptive too?? Cool story, bro.

We all know core values have been devalued into corny and meaningless fluff. You just Googled “corporate values” and copied the 5 filler-phrases that sounded professional enough. Your website now sounds generic as hell and with the personality of a brick.

And then you wonder why people don’t remember your brand? You have to be kidding me.

Instead, you should talk about who you really are and what you stand for.

If you want anyone to listen to what you have to say, you have to be radically honest and raw. Leave the bullshit aside, and make your brand personable and “human”.

Your customers do not want to know about “teamwork,” but they will listen if you tell them that time you cried when the much-needed funding did not come through.

Or how dad taught you the lessons that made you a great entrepreneur. Or what your company really stands for -not that fake stuff you copied from the Internet.

Think about Chick-Fil-A for a second. No matter if you agree or not with what they represent (I do not), you at least know about what they care about! Some people will hate you for it, but the others will become brand evangelists.

You’re boring them, dawg.

2. Your product (or whatever else you are selling).

If I have learned anything after inking thousands of sales copy pages is that customers do not care about what you are selling. Like, at all. Zero.

Think about it:

Back in the early 2000’s, we did not care about our MP3 having a storage of 1GB -but we did care about having 1000 songs in our pocket.

If you have a landscaping business, you are not just selling cutting other people’s grass -you are selling the feeling of a beautiful backyard on cookout-Sundays.

Me, as a copywriter, I do not just write copy that sells. I give businesses and entrepreneurs the opportunity to make their voice stand out so that they can fulfill their lifelong purpose.

You get the point.

As my mentor used to say, it is not about what the product does — it’s about what they get out of it and how that makes them feel.

Features vs. Benefits.

3. You (sorry…).

Ok, this one is going to hurt. The truth is that customers do not give a flying fuck about you. They only care about themselves —and that is totally fine.

But it is important that you accept it. Entrepreneurs, myself included, often have a sense of entitlement that comes from being extremely confident in ourselves.

The truth is, however, that no one has to buy from you. No matter how good you are. No matter how many hours you have invested into your brand. Or money. No matter what. They just don’t have to.

That is why I argue towards a shift in how businesses communicate with the market. We have to leave the “me, me, me” strategy behind and put our customers’ needs first and foremost.

Only then they’ll listen to what we have to say.